If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
The police scanner is talking about you again....
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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