Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
