Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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