Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
