her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
