It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
