Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
