Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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