Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
