So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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