White coat. Heels.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
