Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
