you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I will pee on everything he values.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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