Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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