I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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