we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
