i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize