Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
