i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
