I heard we made out
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
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