He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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