Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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