I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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