you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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