Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
