Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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