dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
how drunk are you?
Several
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
