he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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