i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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