I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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