My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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