I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
