she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
