I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
