and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
But theres a keg here and me gusta
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize