its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
