Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
bring money and cleavage
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
