so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
