What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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