i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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