Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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