ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
