Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
