Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize