It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
