How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
