your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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