I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It's shark week go big or go home
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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