it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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