Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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