Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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