meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
