k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
