At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
