K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize
