My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
