i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
