fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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