would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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