Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
