A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
